Lighting Candles

As of late…..

…I’ve been missing this. Writing. Full glass of wine to my left, Radiohead in my speakers, my jumbled, fucked up thoughts somehow congealing into something resembling sense and pouring out of my fingers onto a keyboard and into cyberspace…words snatched from my mouth, my mind…my small vulnerable contribution…..

…I made a new friend. Her name is Harley…



…School is the same mess of hoops, smoke and mirrors it has seemed since the beginning. The days fly by in a flurry of lectures, laptops, and lucky guesses. Stolen moments on Facebook in class, the pressures of professionalism and the company of three people I can only hope will flourish under fluorescent lights, fueled by coffee, laughter and weekend brunches…

…I am anxiously anticipating my return to the stage. The feeling of a script in my hands again is so delicious it’s sinful…delving into the layers of a character, discussing motivations and emotional depth, verbing lines and breathing in the smell of a rehearsal space…I feel grounded, stable, sane….

…I have begun the painful process of bidding adieu to the lovely Holli Day. I am not sure hw I will feel when she is gone…she gave me more than I anticipated…things I never knew I needed…but am not sure I need anymore…

...I am watching those I love evolve...and am feeling waves of gratitude that after what feels like million years.....I am here to see it, feel it, be a part of it.....








…I have not, will not, ever, stop dancing….



…I’m still in the dark, Lighting Candles…..

Comments

Vivian said…
Great post... I love, love, reading from you. And, it's the very first blog post I read in Japan. There you go.
November 5, 2009 at 12:58 AM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

And so it goes…..

Image
The past few weeks have been a whirlwind, the kind that makes you feel exhilarated and high one minute, and downright nauseous the next. Life continues to surprise me, even in my old, old age. It’s always been my personal belief that unless you learn the lessons life throws your way the first time it does so, you will be forced/doomed to repeat your mistakes and learn those life lessons, over and over and over, with the stakes becoming higher and higher each time. The following is one life lesson I think I’ve finally learned. Nothing in life will ever happen the way you expect it to. Seriously. Ever. You can wrack your brain and exhausted every possible scenario that you ever imagine could possible be conceived. You will mentally and emotionally prepare yourself for every single one of these scenarios and arm yourself with the knowledge that your confidence, strength of character, and those deep breathing medititation exercises you spent the past 3 months honing will carry you through.
Read more

Just Sayin....

The air has become a thick wet blanket that lays over the city. The heat and humidity wrap around you as soon as you step outside and the smells that normally circulate the streets have become magnified and soupy. Rainy season is here. Went out for Mexican last night with some friends, and found myself sipping beer on the streets at 1am, smoking a cigarette and reminicing about Nirvana, Mos Def, Pearl Jam and MJ. The mosquitoes here are not normal mosquitoes. They are mutants sent from the planet Insect Revenge to wreak havoc on us poor unsuspecting expats, who foolishly did not stock up on OFF! prior to leaving their countries of origin. My students actually laughed at me and my swollen arms and ankles and two of them suggested rubbing kimchi on the bites themselves to help them disappear faster. I told them I was going to rub kimchi on their faces if they actually thought I would fall for that. The next day one of the girls brought me a bottle of lotion to help “not have red and puff
Read more

And just in case you thought otherwise.....

Today one of my kids came up to me and grabbed my arm. Teacher! she cried. You.....have baby? she asked and pointed to my stomach. Hahahahahaha, the demon spawn laughed. Baby, she said again and made a gesture that indicated my mid-section was not as slender as she would have preferred it to be. This is why I hate kids. After throwing her out the window, I trekked over to Dave's classroom. Do I look pregnent? I asked a classroom full of innocent looking faces? Three os them shook their heads while the fourth frowned. In your face, she told me. My boyfriend laughed his fucking head off. This is why I hate boys.
Read more