And so it goes…..
The past few weeks have been a whirlwind, the kind that makes you feel exhilarated and high one minute, and downright nauseous the next. Life continues to surprise me, even in my old, old age.
It’s always been my personal belief that unless you learn the lessons life throws your way the first time it does so, you will be forced/doomed to repeat your mistakes and learn those life lessons, over and over and over, with the stakes becoming higher and higher each time. The following is one life lesson I think I’ve finally learned. Nothing in life will ever happen the way you expect it to.
Seriously. Ever.
You can wrack your brain and exhausted every possible scenario that you ever imagine could possible be conceived. You will mentally and emotionally prepare yourself for every single one of these scenarios and arm yourself with the knowledge that your confidence, strength of character, and those deep breathing medititation exercises you spent the past 3 months honing will carry you through. The universe will then take note of every single one of those scenarios you’ve imagined, observe your carefully constructed and well thought out plans of action, turn around and give you the finger as curve ball after curve ball head straight for your stupid blonde head and before you know what’s happening, your chest suddenly feels as though it’s going to cave in while your standing in line to collect the laptop you’ll need for your e-learning course pack because SOMEBODY thought it would be a good idea to go back to school and even though your 3rd from the front of the line after waiting for just over 45 minutes, it quickly becomes a choice between running out the nearest exit for some fresh air and to compose yourself or throwing up all over the Juicy Couture clad, 18-year-old-looking, perky princess standing in front of you reeking of Tommy Girl.
Or something……
It was a tough call, but I chose the former. Yeah me.
It’s difficult to pinpoint exactly what it is that’s throwing me for a loop in regards to my reintegration into “normal” life. It could be the excess of social obligations I seemingly throw myself into without care or thought to the cost of doing so. It could be the sheer volume of friend/family/other that has come in waves since touching down and has yet to cease. It could be the dichotomous and downright eerie feeling of youth and age colliding, old enough to know I’m not young, young enough to still, at times, feel invincible.
It could be the simple fact that this time, I return alone, that I have moved on without that person who could relate to and understand the zaniness and unpredictability that goes along with going away and coming back again. It could be a matter of expectations, whether realistic or not, justified or un, and the relearning of that aforementioned life lesson.
It could be that I’m fucking fucked in the head and need to relearn that everything in life is better when you’re half-cut. Party animal that I am and all. Yeesh.
So. To sum up.
Life lesson learned.
Fucked in the head.
Need to get drunk more.
What do you know….maybe I’ll make a better student then I thought:)
And as ready as I was to come home, and as happy as I am to be here…….
It’s always been my personal belief that unless you learn the lessons life throws your way the first time it does so, you will be forced/doomed to repeat your mistakes and learn those life lessons, over and over and over, with the stakes becoming higher and higher each time. The following is one life lesson I think I’ve finally learned. Nothing in life will ever happen the way you expect it to.
Seriously. Ever.
You can wrack your brain and exhausted every possible scenario that you ever imagine could possible be conceived. You will mentally and emotionally prepare yourself for every single one of these scenarios and arm yourself with the knowledge that your confidence, strength of character, and those deep breathing medititation exercises you spent the past 3 months honing will carry you through. The universe will then take note of every single one of those scenarios you’ve imagined, observe your carefully constructed and well thought out plans of action, turn around and give you the finger as curve ball after curve ball head straight for your stupid blonde head and before you know what’s happening, your chest suddenly feels as though it’s going to cave in while your standing in line to collect the laptop you’ll need for your e-learning course pack because SOMEBODY thought it would be a good idea to go back to school and even though your 3rd from the front of the line after waiting for just over 45 minutes, it quickly becomes a choice between running out the nearest exit for some fresh air and to compose yourself or throwing up all over the Juicy Couture clad, 18-year-old-looking, perky princess standing in front of you reeking of Tommy Girl.
Or something……
It was a tough call, but I chose the former. Yeah me.
It’s difficult to pinpoint exactly what it is that’s throwing me for a loop in regards to my reintegration into “normal” life. It could be the excess of social obligations I seemingly throw myself into without care or thought to the cost of doing so. It could be the sheer volume of friend/family/other that has come in waves since touching down and has yet to cease. It could be the dichotomous and downright eerie feeling of youth and age colliding, old enough to know I’m not young, young enough to still, at times, feel invincible.
It could be the simple fact that this time, I return alone, that I have moved on without that person who could relate to and understand the zaniness and unpredictability that goes along with going away and coming back again. It could be a matter of expectations, whether realistic or not, justified or un, and the relearning of that aforementioned life lesson.
It could be that I’m fucking fucked in the head and need to relearn that everything in life is better when you’re half-cut. Party animal that I am and all. Yeesh.
So. To sum up.
Life lesson learned.
Fucked in the head.
Need to get drunk more.
What do you know….maybe I’ll make a better student then I thought:)
And as ready as I was to come home, and as happy as I am to be here…….
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