Blurred Vision

I have often felt comfortable in the midst of organized chaos. I have always, sub-consciously or otherwise, been drawn to it. New York city, the home of my heart. Seoul; the city I never knew I loved until I felt its indescribable pull and energy. How I miss it. The flurry of friendships and activities I have always immersed myself in. Work, school, classes, friends, family, dinners, teas, drinks, parties, plays, running, yoga, gym, Skype, books, wine, laughter. Sleep was always a secondary thought. A passing fancy. Something others needed but not me.
Things are different now. In so many ways.

Writing used to feel different. Words were a comfort, and ever flowing. I blended sarcasm and the meaning of life like it was a strawberry margarita. It feels different now. Stilted, rusty. I miss my voice.
Once upon a time, many years ago, I was an artist, an actor. I often feel I have lost my way. That I am scattered, adrift. That my passion has dissolved into the color that is the rest of my li…