How to Disappear Completely
For someone who has little to no qualms about being the centre of attention for much of the time, the feelings that come with not wanting to be observed are confusing at best, and a startling emotional rollercoaster at worst. I’m not talking about the simple desire to be left alone or to have some space for oneself, I’m talking about the desire to disappear. To vanish. I used to fantasize sometimes about what my life could look like if I ever had the ovaries to do just that. To fully act out and make it happen. To pack up in the middle of the night, skedaddle style, and just leave. Everything. People, pets, relationships, family, everything. I used to imagine traveling a long distance just to end up in a small town somewhere around the city of Nowhere on the outskirts of God Only Knows. I saw myself finding a small apartment where I would keep to myself and the neighbours would only know me as that lady who plays Miles Davis late into the night and has a bulk membership to the loc...