Stephanie in Suwon

I haven’t been sleeping well as of late. And by as of late I mean since arriving in Seoul in May. I have slept all the way through the night approximately once since touching down. At first I chocked it up to nothing more than a severe case of jet lag, combined with the stress of starting a new job, and a fucking stressful job at that. Working for 14 hours a day might have enduced exhaustion in some but not this girl. Nope. Having to move 3 times in 2 months while hauling 2 suitcases, 1 backpack and an assload of emotional baggage also might have taken its toll on some. But not this girl. Watching the curtain close on yet another significant chapter in one’s life while being confronted with uncomfortable realities that one was seemingly unprepared for, might also have sent certain others into an emotional coma. But not this girl. I can’t sleep. And it’s starting to get to me. Last week I had one of the worst days I’ve ever had in Korea. It was Friday and after a (yet another) night of...

See you on the flip side my sister. Congrats. You survived. I love you.

Neon John Mayer I Could Say Lily Allen LoveGame Lady GaGa Crazy Bitch Buck Cherry You Rock my World MJ (RIP) Your Ex-Lover is Dead Stars Womanizer Brit Kissing Bliss Stolen Dashboard Confessional Time in a Bottle Jim Croce Morning Train Sheena Easton I’m Shipping Up to Boston Dropkick Murphys Life in Technicolor Coldplay Striptease Hawksley Workman Broken Strings James Morrison Human The Killers Most of the Time Bob Dylan I am in the midst of compiling a playlist for my last night in Seoul. There is much about bidding adieu to my experiences here that I have come to terms with/have been looking forward to/celebrated. Saying goodbye to this amazing city is not one of them. I feel truly blessed to have been able to spend close to a year and a half of my life living in, loving and exploring this place. On my last Sunday here, I’ll be trekking up to Namsan tower, an observatory situated atop a hill in the center of Seoul, to sit, sip iced coffee and watch the sun go down. The polluted haze...

This time around… I feel more connected. In every way one can be. I feel more connected to those who have become intertwined in the day to day life I am currently leading, than I felt about the people who I, once upon a time, spent close to a full year with. Nowadays I have come to appreciate the simple lunches and thoughtful hellos, no muss, no fuss. Dinner in Gangnam, gossiping and waxing poetic about cultural politics. Acknowledgement of how short our time has been/is/will be together, and sincere bittersweet smiles at the thought of saying goodbye. Weekend hiking trips. Tears, chocolate cookies and milk. Shisha, wine and cigarettes. I feel more connected to myself, relaxing into my skin in a way I’d forgotten existed. Loudmouthed and sassy. Speaking my mind in a way that suits me regardless of how or what people may think. My ironic surprise at the acceptance, understanding and laughter that greets me more often then not when I do so. And I do. So. Often. Laughter. I’d forgotten ho...

It’s pouring rain here in SK. I can hear it outside pounding the sidewalk and the sides of the apartment buildings that surround my own. I love the rain. Rainy days were made for staying indoors, sipping tea and listening to jazz. Puttering around the house, maybe catching up on some reading. The sound of the rain can make you feel lonely though, the dark rhythm of water, the sense of isolation compounded with the knowledge that I am indeed alone, more so then I have been in a very long time, and far far away from the place I call home. I don’t often feel lonely here. Surrounded each day by rooms full of students, lunches in the teachers room, hurried, full of laughter and kimbap. Evenings spent prepping, marking, or making my blessed escape to the gym, shutting out the world for a few hours where all I have to do is listen to The Chemical Brothers and focus on breathing, reps, running, stretching. My weekends here are spent in much the same fashion, with little treats thrown in there,...