Tell the fat lady she's on in five, four, three, two.........

According to the customized countdown I have programmed into my computer, I am apparently leaving for Thailand in under a week and will be closing the door, pardon me, dramatically slamming the door a la Steph-Morris-throwing-a-hissy-fit-at-age-13 style, at my current place of employment. I’m going out with a mutha-fuking bang bitches and am blowing this Asian pop stand I’ve called home for the past fourteen months. Here’s how it’s all going to go down:

For some reason, mostly having to do with the fact that the school I’ve given my blood, sweat and tears to over the course of the past year could probably be better run if a group of monkeys took the wheel, has decided that Dave and I need to work on Monday and Wednesday, but not on Tuesday. This is nonnegotiable for us, not that I would normally mind being given an extra day to pack, but in this particular instance, is also giving them the opportunity to not give us our full paychecks for the month of October, even though we have worked all the days that our extended contracts require us to. They will be deducting 3 days pay that I’ve worked damn hard for and was going to use to further my traveling experiences in the coming months. How can they possibly get away with this you might ask? Trust me when I say that this is one of the lesser insults they have thrown at us, and by us I mean the majority of the teachers at Youngdo during my employment with them, since coming to Korea. Don’t get me fucking started. If I think about it too much, I can literally feel my ears start to bleed. At any rate, we have two more full working days left, with Tuesday being our last minute errand running, suitcase packing, nervous breakdown having day, before moving to Seoul to live with the wonderful, fabulous, beautiful, amazing, talented and oh-so-hospitable Shandi Danielle Petersen for a few days of Halloween parties and late-night chat-fests. We will be leaving on a jet plane Sunday night and will be halfway to Bangkok by this time next week.

Hard to believe that my contract is over, that this chapter is about to close, with the epilogue in Thailand yet to be written. My emotions are extreme and plentiful these days; joy, relief, fear, anger, anxiousness and a general level of stress all seem to mesh together into some sort of emotional cocktail I’m seemingly being forced to swallow.
I’m leaving in a week. I can’t believe it.
Will I miss it? Parts of it, for damn sure, and probably parts that I won’t realize I’m going to miss until I’m actually gone for solid amount of time.
Would I do it again? Only if I could do it, knowing what I know now. About the culture of this place, the regular occurrences that had me stunned in the beginning but now leave me with little more then an ironic chuckle, about how it all works, the parts we are asked to play, everything that someone who has been here would understand in a heartbeat.
Was it worth it? I’m going to say yes, but get back to you on the details. It’s a little more complicated then a simple yes or no. Really, isn’t it all?
It’s over. Even though it doesn’t feel like it yet, I know it is. And even though there is so much more to come in the next couple of months, I feel like I can take pride in this sense of accomplishment I feel. I survived a year in Asia, living and working with my boyfriend nonetheless, and am not only coming out the other side, but get to celebrate with white sand beaches, indigo water, butterfly gardens, fruit smoothies and chicken pad thai. I’m going to live out of a backpack, stay in hostels and eat from roadside stands between soaking up the sun that my vitamin D deprived body so desperately craves. This next little while will also be challenging, in new and different ways, but I’m not going to be afraid. I survived my year in Korea.
I can do anything.

Comments

Anonymous said…
Hey - 'Searching for Starlight' - YOU are the starlight!!!

love
mom

p.s. what happened to the "F--- - free" blog for "mummy"????
vagabondshandi said…
You can survive anything, you're good to go now.

By the way, was it really necessary to middle name me?! (-;
Melvin said…
great to read this ....
thanks for sharing....

___________________
Melvin
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