Gone.

I’ve been trying hard to take it all in, the fact that this journey I started on 3 months ago….no…..2 years ago….is really coming to an end. I’m finding it difficult though, for some reason, to feel that, to know that. Today just feels like another day in Seoul. But it’s not. It’s my last day. My last day in Seoul.

Walking home from dinner last night, I choose to put away my headphones and just listen to the sounds of the city as I made my way through the streets. Horns blaring and the whoosh and zoom of traffic, scooters zipping by with their put-put engine noises, and feeling the air around me shift and the sound barrier be broken as a Ducati flew past me, it’s wheels barely grazing the Seoul streets it honored with its presence. I listened to the sounds of drunken male voices, raised in good spirits and soaked with soju and kept my eyes on the sidewalk in front of me as I passed the business suit clad men who stared and shouted and stumbled towards me. I skirted the edges of the sidewalk and kept moving, hearing their voices fade and melt into the distant buzz and hum of the neon. The night breeze was mercifully cool and as I emerged from the underpass the smell of the city hit me, full force, and I could almost taste it. The gritty ashvault, and heady exhaust fumes mingling with the scent of fried chicken from a resteraunt down the road, and something else, something less definable and infinitely more appealing.

There is a weight that has settled in my chest that I know will be lifted upon my arrival at YYC. It is a weight that has just as much to do with loss as it does with gain, and though I appreciate the balance it brings to these last few hours I have in this city, I find myself slightly melancholy, thoughtful and full of bittersweet feelings and memories. I suppose this is only natural.

It’s hard to know where to begin when you wish to speak about an ending.












It’s hard to say goodbye…even when you know it’s not forever






I am so grateful. I am so blessed.

I’ll see you on the other side….cause I’m going….going……


Comments

Vivian said…
I think you really did take it all in this time.

All the best to you. xx
August 23, 2009 at 9:23 AM
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