The Flip Side.

So I’m here. Again.

Seoul is even better then I remembered it. Loud, busy, energetic and humming with it’s distinct soju-soaked vibe. Rhinestones wink at me from the hundreds of stalls lining the streets and I have to exercise large amounts of self-restraint not to stop and examine every table I pass. The air is just as humid as I remembered. It lays across my shoulders like a snake, wrapping itself around my neck and filling my nose and mouth with its thick wetness. The heat of summer has yet to seep into the city’s cracks. I am grateful for this small mercy. The sounds and smells make me feel as though I have never left. The cool air and the roar of the subway underneath it all bring me back and snap me into the present at the same time. Travel can be surreal.

My decision to return to the land of the morning calm was multi-layered and complicated, much like myself. Chatting with a certain someone recently, I was reminded of something I discovered the last time I was here. About saying goodbye, moving on, while honoring where you have been and how it has helped take you further towards where you eventfully want to go. About how saying goodbye, doesn’t’ so much involve looking back, as it does being ready to look forward and greet whatever comes next with open arms and an open heart. It’s not always easy to do this. It’s truly amazing how much perspective you gain from travel, from the removal of all you hold near and dear, how strength you never knew you had can rear up and help keep you afloat when it would be just so much easier to allow those waves to take you over. The past two years have been ones of discovery for me, ones of struggle and confusion as well. And while I am starting to see the break on the horizon and starting to feel excited about the new direction my life is going to take once I return home and start school again (KNOCK WOOD UNVERSE YOU HEAR ME??? KNOCK FUCKING WOOD!!!!!!!), returning here was, in my own way, a goodbye of sorts. An acknowledgement of the shift that has taken place within me, within the relationships I have around me, and the way I am going to greet the unknown entity called “The Future” (cue ominous music)

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Change is one of the only constants that exist when traveling…..fuck, in life….. and learning to embrace that fact is what can make or break you in this business. I don’t think I need to remind you that I’m more of a make it then break it type of gal. And so I will. And so it goes.
By the way, I did a little calculating on the plane. I will be in Korea for exactly 100 days. Strange number to randomly land on, no?

Ciao for now. I’ll keep you posted.


Vivian said…
That first paragraph about Seoul made me almost feel sick, I miss it so much and I tried to read it as quickly as I could...

But I like the way you see your return to Korea, as a sort of good bye. Makes me wonder if I need that, or can I move on without it.

You'll have an amazing summer regardless, and you seem to have so many exciting things to look forward to when you get home (perhaps different from coming home the first time?).

Have fun, eat some kimchi for me, and enjoy Seoul :)

So good to read your updates!
Melvin said…
Great stuff...
i like this post...
thanks for sharing....

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